An adopted person tends to experience seven core issues related to their adoption. Identifying these core issues will help them feel and understand their emotions. This will help them to accept their experiences. Loss All adopted people have experienced at least one major loss. So, it is crucial to support their expression of these losses so that the healing process can begin. For young adoptees non-verbal expression like art, music, puppets, or play works best. Older adoptees and adults benefit from being encouraged to write down all the losses. Whenever possible, families must work to keep losses low for their children. It is important to keep the youths' connections to important people, places, and events. Parents must be assertive in acquiring information about their children’s lives. Things that are usually overlooked can provide a link. Things like pictures, videotapes, shreds of old clothes, and blankets. Rejection The feeling of loss can increase with the feeling of rejection. Young adoptees may blame themselves for the abandonment, abuse, or neglect they faced. They may avoid situations where they feel rejected or even provoke it. They tend to believe that they will feel safer if they create a distance in their connections to others. Many of their “acting out” behaviors are made to keep distance. Loving an adoptive family does not take away the pain of feeling rejected. Parents need to be open and honest in giving age-appropriate information. Parents must avoid taking young adoptees' comments or questions personally. The children aren't rejecting their foster parents, they are curious. Young adoptees need support and validation when they express feelings of rejection. Feelings or fears of rejection can chip away at a person’s self-esteem. Guilt/Shame Some adopted people feel that they deserved loss and rejection. This could grow into a feeling of guilt and shame. Guilt that they somehow caused the adoption and shame from where they came from. Embarrassed by their adoptive status, adoptees may hide it from their peers. Adoptive families need to be sensitive to their children’s feelings of guilt and shame. Adoptees need to understand what happened was not their fault. Grief Every loss must be grieved, including adoption-related losses. These losses are difficult to mourn since society sees adoption as a fix-all solution. Grief can wash over adopted people in waves or stages, in times of other losses or transitions. Adoptees must understand that feelings of loss are temporary. These feelings include numbness, sadness, anger, depression, emptiness, and anxiety. Sometimes grief may not look like grief. Adoptees may have physical symptoms. Such as stomach aches, headaches, colds, appearing disorganized, or being hyperactive. They may "act out" behaviors, or may isolate and withdraw. Young adoptees find it difficult to grieve their losses, although they are aware of them. Adoptive parents need to make a safe place for the adoptee to express their feelings. They need to listen and offer comfort and hope. Parents must address the past, define what is happening in the present, and give real hope for the future. Avoid rushing the grief process, and understand that the grief will come back again and again. Identity Adoption can threaten an adoptee's sense of identity. Adoptees may feel incomplete. Identity is both what a person is or is not. Adoptees lose their identity from their birth family and borrow one from their adopted family. Adoptees question who they are and where they belong. Are they like their birth family or like their adoptive family? Some adoptees lack medical, genetic, religious, and historical information from their birth parents. They may question why they were born and if it was an accident. Teen adoptees may seek out ways to create a feeling of belonging. Like joining radical sub-cultures, running away, becoming pregnant, or rejecting the adoptive family. Adoptive parents must support their adoptees in developing a sense of where they come from and who they are. They need additional support and acceptance to explore multiple possibilities. Intimacy/Relationships The losses in adoption, feelings of rejection, shame, grief, and identity confusion affect the adoptees' relationships. Adoptees have said that they know they were holding back themselves in relationships. That they have never felt close to anyone instead felt an emptiness that came from wanting to meet their birth parents. Adoptees may have come from institutions and have had a lot of caretakers. They can have a rough time relaxing in their additive family. They can continue to be anxious and clingy or uncertain and avoidant. Adoptive parents find it challenging to create close relationships with them. The process may take years, but it is worth it. Adoptees may find themselves staying in unhealthy relationships or avoiding intimate relationships altogether. Control Issues Adoption changes an adoptee's life. From affecting their development, emotional growth, a feeling of responsibility, and self-control. They had no control over the entire adoption process. Adoptive parents must give children age-appropriate choices and responsibilities throughout their development. It is important to acknowledge the adoptees' feelings on lack of control while helping them take control over their lives in the present. Adoptees often need extra attention paid to skill-building and problem-solving to regain a sense of control in their lives. Identifying these issues can assist them in doing the necessary work to move into the joy of adoption. There are many gains to be won as adopted people work through these issues. People who have struggled with issues seem to develop inner resources and become deeper human beings.

Meet Sawyer, he's our supervisor for Workforce Development and oversees our programs. In honor of Financial Literacy Month, he shares his favorite part of his experience at Association House, what inspires his work, and why he believes financial literacy is important. What is your favorite part of your experience with Association House? I have worked at Association House for a little over 2 years now and I'm still learning about all the awesome programs/resources/opportunities that this agency has made available to the community. It feels like we are always growing but in an intentional and purposeful way. I've really enjoyed being able to connect our participants to the necessary resources for succeeding at what they want to succeed in. What about your work inspires you? I'm inspired by the people who make personal and professional development a priority all while juggling their own life's demands. It means a lot knowing people want to spend their valuable time in our programs all for the sake of bettering themselves and their communities. Why do you think financial literacy is important? Improving my own Financial Literacy has allowed me to make smarter, informed decisions in regard to saving and spending money. It's important to learn about what you can do now so that you're in a better position financially 10, 20, or 30 years down the line.

Luz is our Financial Careers Facilitator and part of our Workforce Development team. In honor of Financial Literacy Month, she shares her favorite part about working at Association House, what inspires her work, and gives advice on improving financial literacy. What is your favorite part of your experience with Association House? It’s a one-stop-shop where individuals can receive support services and educational resources that can better their life. From the moment I had my first tour of our agency, I was shocked and amazed by all the services offered in our one-stop agency. Growing up in a low-income neighborhood, I lived and saw the needs of families struggling and in need of receiving services such as those that we offer here at Association House of Chicago. What about your work inspires you? Being the first and only college graduate in my family, I needed guidance in finding employment opportunities and navigating the workforce. I truly wish, I had exposure to workforce programs and mentors as a young adult. I understand the value of our offerings and have always had a passion for giving back and helping those in need. The Workforce program offers skills that I lacked and were desperately needed in my community. Throughout my life, I have seen many people with potential who just need a little training and guidance to increase their self-confidence and soft skills. As a Financial Careers Facilitator, I can provide those tools to help people build better opportunities for their families through our workforce programs. What advice would you give to someone wanting to improve their financial literacy? It’s never too late to learn about Financial Literacy - conversations around Financial literacy should start at a young age. Early discussions would encourage individuals to make wiser decisions and build better financial habits. If my family and I had more knowledge about finances, my parents could have purchased their first home sooner and created more financial wealth for themselves earlier. Learning how to manage and budget household expenses is critical at an early age. Credit can be established and repaired. You can ask for your FREE credit report by visiting www.annualcreditreport.com or by calling 1-877-322-8228. Your credit report is an important part of your financial life, it can determine whether you can get credit and how much it costs you to borrow. How are you celebrating national financial literacy month? We are working with our Workforce team at Association House of Chicago to prepare for our new Cohorts for our Financial Careers Program. Many individuals will be provided with financial tools and skills in the next upcoming weeks in regards to credit, budgeting, and savings.

Sherri is our Financial Careers Facilitator and part of Association House's Workforce Development team. In honor of Financial Literacy Month, she shares what inspires her about her work at Association House and gives advice on improving financial literacy. What about your work inspires you? I'm inspired by the participants of our Workforce Development programs. They are driven and determined to create better lives for themselves and their families despite their past experiences and present challenges. This motivates me to go above and beyond my normal job duties to help them achieve their employment and financial goals. Why do you think financial literacy is important? Financial Literacy Month brings awareness and attention to starting or maintaining healthy financial habits. Learning and understanding how to properly manage our finances helps us meet our financial goals and prepares us for financial emergencies. Also, we are less stressed when we have control over our finances. What advice would you give to someone wanting to improve their financial literacy? I suggest researching reasons why and how to create a budget, to save, and to pay off unnecessary debt. In my opinion, these are the three areas people struggle with the most. I also suggest researching ways to legitimately bring in additional sources of income to help meet their financial goals faster.

Myra is our Community Health Supervisor and part of Association House’s Community Health team. Her favorite part of her experience is the tight-knit, familial culture at Association House that makes it unique and special. In honor of Women's History Month, she shares why we need more women in leadership and how she wants to see this month highlighted at the house and in our community. What is your favorite part of your experience with Association House? The tight-knit, familial culture at AHC is very unique and special. This experience has helped me to grow and has provided me with emotional support and friendship. I believe that our strong sense of community within the House is what we are so successful in serving our surrounding communities. Why do we need more women in leadership? We need more women in leadership because it is essential to making progress. Women continue to be underrepresented at every level, especially women of color. Deep cultural/societal work is required to create workplaces where all women feel valued and represented because we bring the skills, different perspectives and cultures that create necessary solutions for the world. How would you like to see Women's History highlighted at AHC and in your community? I think a way the community or the agency can celebrate women's history month is to raise donations/money for women and girls who need help. Starting a fundraiser for a worthy cause! That in turn will build camaraderie over a common goal that helps others.

In honor of Women’s History Month and Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities Month, we wanted to highlight one of our wonderful participants from our Life Skills Education (LSE) program. Sonia is a ray of sunshine and we got the chance to talk with her about the LSE program and the women she looks up to. What does the Life Skills Education (LSE) program mean to you? It means making friendships, showing kindness, and love. It means getting support from the staff and teachers. Before I came here, I felt like nobody cared about me, but when I started here, I realized they really do care about me, and that’s why I learned to show kindness back to the people helping me. I am the women I am today because of Association House. I’ve been part of the program for 12 years and it’s really shaped me into who I am today. In what ways has LSE helped you? It’s helped me grow a lot. The kindness and love the staff has shown me has made me feel less alone. I’ve had struggles and they’ve helped me through them and made me realize that I matter. What do you like about this program? It’s very peaceful and the staff makes it really entertaining. We get to read books, listen to music, and have parties. We always celebrate our birthdays together and it’s so fun. I like to write and LSE helped me turn my poems into a book. They provided me with this outlet to continue writing. I like writing because it helps me express myself better. Sometimes I can’t express myself through words and this allows me to have a voice, be heard, and for my stories to be heard. Is there a woman you look up to? My mom because she has always been there for me and she’s tough as nails. She always tells me to go for it no matter what. She teaches me how to be confident and strong. Also, I want people to know that Cleo Bautista (our Residential Manager for Buena Vista) is also someone I look up to because she’s like a good friend and she’s always there to help me when I make mistakes and teach me.

Flora is our Bilingual Medical Office Receptionist and part of our Behavioral Health team. She loves supporting our staff in anyway she can to help make their jobs easier. In honor of Women's History Month, she highlights the women who have influenced her life the most and shares why we need more women in leadership roles. What is your favorite part of your experience with Association House? I love my job, the best experience is connecting with all staff by trying to make their jobs easier by getting what they need. It can be office supplies, information, snacks, dancing with them, and having fun as part of their mental health and well-being. I know many of them must go out in the field while I am indoors all day, so anything I can do to help them is what I enjoy doing the most. I know they take good care of our participants, but who takes care of them here? That is what I will miss most when I retire in April. Is there a woman that has influenced you the most in your life? My mother, Maria with her hard-working ethics as a mother of 16 children (I am #14) and she did a great job. She never worked outside of the home but she always helped by selling food in our neighborhood. She also helped by selling a lot for her church so they could buy their first church building. She made sure we all went to camp for two summers not knowing English very well. Why do we need more women in leadership? Women are needed in leadership because we tend to see the whole picture, we are multitaskers, hard workers; we see and do everything and are not afraid to try. This helps them become better leaders.

CHICAGO (CBS Chicago/CBS News) -- Will Smith apologized to Chris Rock Monday for slapping him at the Oscars the night before – saying he was "out of line" and "wrong." "I would like to publicly apologize to you, Chris. I was out of line and I was wrong," Smith wrote. "I am embarrassed and my actions were not indicative of the man I want to be. There is no place for violence in a world of love and kindness." "Jokes at my expense are a part of the job, but a joke about Jada's medical condition was too much for me to bear and I reacted emotionally," he added. Meanwhile as CBS 2's Steven Graves reported, Monday night, young people in Chicago are using this moment as a jumping point for discussions about broader issues. "I was talking about this with my roommate and my friends and my family," said Damayanti Wallace, 21, who is from Chicago and is now studying film in Los Angeles. Smith slapped Rock after the comedian made a joke about Smith's wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, starring in fictional sequel to the 1997 film "G.I. Jane." Pinkett Smith, who announced several years ago that she has alopecia — an autoimmune disorder that causes hair loss — shaves her head. After returning to his seat, Smith yelled at Rock to "keep my wife's name out of your f***ing mouth." "I don't have any negative feelings about it," Wallace said. "Like I mean, it happened, and we saw both of their apologies." But Wallace sees the incident as an avenue to many discussions. "This is a class conversation as much as it is a race conversation, and as much as it is a critique of comedy," Wallace said. Wallace said she does not condone violence, but examined the situation from all perspectives. "What we also have to recognize is like, the people we put on these pedestals are human," Wallace said. "I think what we really saw was like a breaking point." So how do solve conflict before reaching that breaking point? It's a topic of discussion among Jemina Lyle's high school students. "This generation of kids is dealing with anxiety we have never dealt with," Lyle said. And some students couldn't help but talk about the lashing out with teachers – many, Lyle says, about how to approach conflict. "It was a variety of responses," she said. Lyle mentors teens at an alternative school called Association House in Humboldt Park - a place where zero tolerance for actions does not exist. "Because that's not realistic. Conflict happens," Lyle said. "And the important thing for parents, as well as for teachers and administrators and counselors and mentors and all those people, are to help our students; our young people try to figure out how to navigate conflict in a way that is constructive. That's why we have to give space for conversation." And an incident seen around the world is now used to teach lessons close to home. Lyle says an important part is following up, and later taking action to work on feelings that might lead to confrontation.

Elisa is our Foster Care Supervisor and part of Association House's Child Welfare team. Her favorite part of her experience is that there is a sense of community at the house. In honor of Women's History Month, she shares what this month means to her and the women who have influenced her life. What is your favorite part of your experience with Association House? My favorite experience of Association House is the sense of community. I’ve never been able to compare another job experience to the one here. It’s the good mornings from reception, maintenance, and even high school students. It is about showing up to work and being happy to be part of this community. Not only for myself but for future generations to come. What does Women’s History Month mean to you? March is not only Women’s history month but social work month as well. With that being said, I feel that it is important to take time to thank all those powerful women before me but to also slow down and give myself rest. We are often providing resources and support to families that we forget to take our own advice. Is there a woman that has influenced you the most in your life? I’m a huge fan of Selena. I think that what she did for first-generation women is amazing. She taught me to be fearless and to be myself. Representation matters, you know? She broke so many barriers at such a young age.

Going to college is difficult at 18, but going back as mom with kids is even more challenging. Like so many Association House participants, nothing could stop Matty Matiarena from furthering her career and building a better future for her family. Matty as a Social Worker wanted to learn and take more courses on Child Development while completing certifications for project management. She was juggling it all, but that still wasn’t enough for her. She continuously wanted to better herself. One day, as she was scrolling through Facebook, she came across an ad for Association House’s Tech#Ready program and saw that we were providing a Microsoft Excel program (MOS 2016). She quickly submitted her interest form and a few days later, Sawyer contacted her with an application form and entrance quiz on Microsoft Office Suites. The curriculum we have for Excel has so many different activities, lessons, pre-assessments, and post-assessments, and Matty completed all of them. There's so much information packed in there and she worked with Hind, the Tech#Ready instructor, one-on-one and outside of class time, was super thorough, and made sure she did it the right way. That’s what stood out to us, her determination. Matty felt that Hind truly cared about her success, “She would always ask the students to reach out to her if we needed any help.” Hind always went above and beyond to make sure we had the tools we needed to exceed. Matty had a computer that didn’t work well with the Excel program, so Hind was able to get Association House to provide her with a laptop to use, so Matty could finish the program. “Association House can provide the resources you need to achieve that success." Tech#Ready’s Excel program is quite challenging, but Matty never once gave up. "My Child Development courses were much easier because I had the experience and knowledge from raising three daughters, but the Microsoft Excel program (MOS 2016) was very hard for me. Hind cares about you and your learning and will take the time with her students.” Matty’s journey throughout the program hasn’t been an easy one, but she continues to persevere. Currently, Matty works at SGA Family and Youth Services as a Parent Educator and she’s part of the home-based program. She works directly with families and children, and provides home visits twice a month, resources, and assessments. Personally, I have gained more assurance and feel confident in saying I can use this program on a professional level. Matty shares how the program has allowed her to gain so much more than she expected. “It’s the way Association House supports people. It was important to me that if I enroll in this program to have a teacher and organization that’s making sure I’m learning the material they are providing. They made me feel part of Association House - I wasn't only another student. Hind was a big reason why I felt part of the house. I want to thank Association House for this opportunity because not a lot of organizations provide this type of cares about their student's success. I’m so grateful for Hind and Sawyer and their help to finish the Tech#Ready program. I didn’t know what Association House was before, but now I know that you support and help people like me to have a better outcome, to reach our goals.” We would like to thank our partner, Comcast, for making stories like Matty’s possible. Without their support to advance digital equity and help build a future for families like Matty’s this would not be possible. Our partnership has allowed students to receive the tools they need to successfully complete the Tech#Ready class. Thank you, Comcast, for believing in our mission and supporting the work we do to create better futures for our students.

Tothyanna is our CST Clinician and part of Association House's Behavioral Health team. She shares with us how working with her patients every day and seeing their progress brings her joy and makes her job rewarding. In honor of Women's History Month, she highlights the women who have influenced her life/career and shares her favorite part about working at Association House. What is your favorite part of your experience with Association House? My favorite part of my experience at AHC has to be the environment Working so closely with staff and participants, it starts to feel like a family. I started as a Psychosocial Rehabilitation (PSR) intern, and I was able to interact with patients only during that time. Now working as the CST clinician, I get to see patients in their everyday lives and watch them work through the skills they have learned in PSR and also with the CST team. It is very rewarding. What does Women’s History Month mean to you? Women’s history month means a lot to me. I feel like it is so important that we take time to honor the fight that individuals who identify as women have made and continue to making, in order for me to be here typing this message today. Is there a woman that has influenced you the most in your life/career? There are two women who have influenced me most in my life and career, that is my mother and godmother. They both have always pushed me to be the best woman I can be and are always there to guide me in moments when I feel stuck. They continue to be women who I look forward to speaking with about good moments and bad moments.

Andrea is our Science teacher and part of Association House High School. She shares with us favorite female figure, Jane Goodall, and how the quote, "the greatest danger to our future is apathy," inspires her teachings every day. In honor of Women's History Month, she highlights the women who have influenced her life and shares why we need more women in science leadership roles. What is your favorite part of your experience with Association House? The people at Association House High School are definitely the best part about working here. We are a team of teachers, mentors, and support staff that are truly dedicated to helping our students. We learn from each other, respect each other, and care about each other. Plus we have fun together! I think students can sense this difference compared to their former educational experiences. I love that at AHHS, thanks to our smaller class sizes, I have the opportunity to get to know students and help them grow from where they are. I’m continually inspired by our students’ resilience through adversity, and I love that we can be a safe space where they can realize their potential and find success. Is there a woman that has influenced you the most in your life? I have been lucky enough to have many strong women as role models throughout my life. My family is full of strong-minded, driven, but also kind women. I remember many great teachers, especially Ms. Parker, my seventh-grade life science teacher. She encouraged me to ask questions every day, monitor stream health by collecting bugs, and first showed me pond water under a microscope. I wish I could find her to say, “Thank you!” all these years later. I also had many great coaches and got to go to college on a sports scholarship thanks to Title IX. Sports gave me confidence and perseverance. Finally, I have gotten to work with so many amazing women, who do a great job of supporting and learning from each other. Women make great teammates! Why do we need more women in leadership? I want to change this question to, “Why do we need more women in science leadership?” Science is all about making observations about the world around us, asking questions, and drawing conclusions. We need more people from diverse backgrounds and experiences in order to do better science. We need more women and minorities in science leadership. People often picture a scientist as an older, white male, and we need to change this perception. Scientific leaders drive research choices by investigating the world with which they are familiar. By having scientists with a wider background of experiences, we can ask better questions and learn so much more. Additionally, more diverse scientists can connect better with their communities through language and culture, so we can keep recruiting better scientists for our future. What female historical figure inspires you to be a leader? Growing up, I always wanted to be Jane Goodall. She was patient and observant about the natural world, loved to read, and was curious about everything, especially animals. Early in her career, she was brave and willing to go out into the jungles of Africa to make observations of chimpanzees in their natural environment. Before that, most of our knowledge about chimpanzees was based on research done in laboratories. Her years of dedicated research on chimps in the wild revolutionized how we perceive our closest primate relatives in the animal kingdom. Thereby, it completely changed how we perceive ourselves. Her research helped us feel more connected to all life on earth, and feel the responsibility to protect it. My favorite Jane Goodall quote is, “The greatest danger to our future is apathy.” That quote inspires my teaching every day.